Well, if it shows up in O…

Oprah Magazine 2007You know you’ve made it when you show up in O. You know, that little magazine put out by that lady who seems to have endless ability to influence the world around her?

Well, before you get all excited and send me a comment saying, “But, Gina, I didn’t see you in O!!” Lemme point out that, no, I am not exactly in O. Weight loss blogging is in O. And, since I have a weight loss blog (shush, it is, too!! or was… whatever!) I am, by association in O. So there.

Anyway, now that we are all agreed that I am famous and “in” let’s move on to the point. Yes, I have a point.

Reistad-Long (the author of the article in O) comes to the conclusion that blogging helps us lose weight (well, duh!) but her explanation as to why totally fit into my whole, “Dream it, Plan it, Say it, Do it” philosophy.” She says, “Anyone who has achieved a significant behavior change knows that success is an ongoing process of staying aware and making the right choices.”

Change is an act of intention. You want to make the change. You believe the change is possible. You tell others that you are going to make that change. And wha la! You change*! It is a deliberate act of will.

I am living proof. Go back and read my entries. I double dog dare you to. Three major life changes started here… I shaped my overweight form into my (as of this morning) 143 lb comfort zone, I eliminated my wasband from my immediate surroundings, and I discovered my “balance is everything” mantra. And you know what? When I declared that I would lose weight to the whole world and I wrote about it and kept that promise to myself–deliberately–I did it. And when I came to the conclusion that a divorce was the change I needed, same thing. And when I read myself saying, “balance” every other sentence, I recognized that it was a key to my bliss.

Recognizing, as I do, the power of declaration, I want to set other goals and share them here. I know the power of this forum.

But… you knew there was a but…

I have hesitated to transform this blog into a rest-of-my-life blog for several reasons. The main one is that I am somewhat concerned that my still-unstable wasband will find fuel for his indignation here. I don’t want to hurt him. He has lots of work to do to find his balance. I tried to help him, but it was beyond my ability (and beyond my responsibility!!) I still hope he will land in his bliss (though so far he has landed just about everywhere else), but I have to make sure I don’t give him the power to derail mine.

So, I am trying to figure out how to share what is going on and what I am going to work on and still feel “safe.”

Okay. I have said for years that living in fear is not living. My first act of deliberate intent is to declare that my blog is a safe place. I expect the people who visit here to be supportive and caring–just as they always have been. If you are the boogey man, move along. I am sure there is a blog out there for you. This one is for folks who believe, like Richard Feynman, “The key to success is to make people dream.”

Here’s to living that dream!

*For those of you who are screeching, “Buuuuut Gina, it isn’t that eeeeeeasy!!!” I will say again, it is a deliberate act of will. If you have mixed feelings, your results will be mixed. If you are only doing it because your mom, boyfriend, therapist, horoscope, or Oprah says you should, it ain’t gonna go very well. You know this. I know this. The universe knows this. Now put down the sleeve of Oreos and get focused on what you want. (And if what you want is the sleeve of Oreos, you will pick them right back up. No judgment… I’ve done it, too. They are soooo good. especially with really cold milk…)

Decisions, decisions…

Yes, I am down to 142.5 pounds, but not in a good way. I have lost weight this week because I have stressed myself into a relapse and can’t manage to eat anything.

I am the canary in the mine. I see the big picture. I see the problems and cracks and I am probably a little hyper-vigilant. But when I see it coming, I want to warn folks.

“Get out of the way!”

“We gotta change this!”

“This could be so much easier/sweeter/kinder/effective!”

But sometimes–most of the time–they just don’t want to hear it. And I can usually let it go.

Unless it directly affects my life in some dramatic way.

Like People First Language.

Well grad school is affecting my life in a dramatic way. The issues with my team got worse–much worse–over the course of the past several weeks and I went to the administration for help. It seems that was the wrong course of action. They don’t want to hear it. And I can’t let it go.

Without detailing you to death, let’s just say that I am seriously considering leaving the program. This sucks for about 64 reasons, not the least of which is that I want this degree, I love the coursework, and I don’t know what I am going to do if I drop out.

But I can’t live with this kind of stress for another year. It isn’t fair to my children. It isn’t healthy for me. Life is way too short to go weeks without sleep or eating because folks won’t do their part.

Damn it.

Updated Update on The Guy…

It turns out that the guy who had the seizure at my gym has epilepsy and had recently had a change in meds. Evidently the new meds weren’t working. He was released from the hospital the same day as his seizure. He didn’t break anything, but is very bruised.

The folks at my gym have taken this incident very seriously and are installing AEDs at all of the branches and putting everyone through advanced training in CPR and the like. Hopefully, they will never need to use the stuff.

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