Setting The Big Goals…

The Lifelong Project by Joseph PhillipsAfter years of seeing the “coincidences” of my life come together to form gorgeous synergies, it should be old hat by now.

It isn’t.

A little background first: over the past couple of years, I have managed to gradually add 15 – 20 pounds back to my frame. There are lots of causes… the world’s most stressful job, several life-altering emergencies, a happy marriage, and lack of focus on my health as I moved through all of these events.

After months of thinking about it, I managed to get past the precontemplation stage and made it to the gym. ::taking bow:: My hope is to get back into the habit of paying attention to my body… exercising, relaxing, eating what nourishes me.

This stage of thinking and planning over the past several months wasn’t simply about my health. It involved gestating several other crossroads initiatives. And the entire time I am working out all of these details, I am feeling a pull to something bigger.

So where’s the synergy?

As I sit on my gorgeous sun porch and work on a variety of projects — all while watching the birds and deer and turkeys wander by — the realization that I am connected to this beautiful planet through more than my laptop keeps poking at me. But how? What project? Where do I put my energies?

I go to my facebook account to check on my pokes and farms and see an invitation from my high school chum, Joseph Phillips. He’s been all giddy for weeks about an project launch of his, and rightfully so.

10 Goals 2010

Joseph’s new project is all about the little ways we contribute to the bigger stuff. He has way more information over at 10 Goals 2010 at the Lifelong Project but the gist is this:

Be kind.

Do good work.

Help others.

Make friends.


Give your time.

Give love.

Achieve goals.


So, Joseph, old pal, I love this idea. I’ll spend some time contemplating how these goals get integrated into my daily routine. Perhaps this is the next phase of the MegaChallenge 200. My impulse is to say I’ll attempt to integrate each of these goals into my yearly 200-times-gets-me-there mentality. I don’t know how that would look yet.

My first goal is to figure that out.

A Year Ago…

Labyrinth by Gina LynetteAnniversaries are pretty cool. Usually. I am a sentimental girl who thrives on marking time and remembering when. So, it should come as very little surprise that I am sort of “celebrating” a very odd anniversary.

Get to it, woman! What anniversary?

The anniversary of the major blow up event that led to my eventual divorce and rebirth as–well as me.

Sure, I made strides toward the newish me. I started the weight loss MegaChallenge thing. I went back to school. I got great haircuts and color. But it wasn’t until I did the heave-ho to the marriage that I actually felt like I was making progress.

I haven’t been very forthcoming with the events leading up to my divorce. It isn’t shame so much as not wanting to be a dirty-laundry-airing someone. I guess being raised Southern has a stronger hold that I would like to admit. I mean, geez, it wasn’t until last year that I could say out loud that I might need to lose a few (read: 50) pounds!

At the risk of sounding like a curmudgeonly marriage-basher, I just have to say, “If you hate your marriage, get the hell out of it!” If it is sucking the life out of you what are you doing sitting there making up excuses to stay?

Perhaps this is a message to the me of 2-4-8-12 years ago who thought she could work hard enough to make it all okay. Perhaps it is a message to my stuck friends who are miserable and keep hanging on. Perhaps it is totally misguided, but if I had only had the courage to walk when I first figured out that my marriage was a bust I might have saved myself and my children a whole lot of pain, grief, and therapy.

The great news? I am out of there!

Deep breath.

I am so happy to be on the other side! If I had known how precious life would be without that constant gnawing, I’d have done it so much sooner! Life has been so, so, so sweet.

Sure, there are still days when nothing seems to go right. Car parts still break. Kids still get sick. Computers still crash. The difference is that I start out with the emotional energy to deal with those every day stresses without the chronic downer of an unhappy, abusive, controlling, spiteful spouse to suck me dry before I even get started.

Yeah, I know that everyone acts in their own time. I am hardly one to point fingers–I procrastinate better than anyone I know! I wanted to make sure I had exhausted all possible options for saving the marriage before I left. Unfortunately, I almost lost my life in the process.

No, I didn’t plan on getting a divorce when I stood in front of God and everybody in that parade float of a dress. Thank heaven I was able to change my plans before I ended up in the choir of angels–and that I get this whole new shot at figuring out what I want in life and going for it!

So, it has been a year since I figured out that if I didn’t end my marriage that I would likely end up dead. I am alive! Happy birthday to me!

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