Inspired by Judith Snow…

Hasbury on Snow

 

This month’s SCDot6 post is given over to two dear friends on the occasion of the Celebration of Life for one and the incredibly poetry she inspired in the other.

There are hundreds of articles and videos and tributes written by and about Judith Snow. She was just as influential and funny and pointed and impatient and thoughtful as those pieces make her out to be.

Judith challenges us to question our assumptions about what folks can and cannot do and where they can and cannot live. She thumbed her nose at our low expectations and exhortations about safety. Yes, it took a whole team of folks — her circle of support — to get her out of that institution and into “the community”, but, ironically, Judith created community wherever she was and that institution was hardly a barrier to her — except that it was.

So, dear one, on this 6th day of June, question your assumptions. Then do it again on June 7. And again on June 8.

David Hasbury — a deep thinker in his own right — captures it so well in his grief-and-gratitude-laced poem.

We’re sad, but we celebrate.

And we keep on truckin’.

 

—-

The image is a colorful, painted background with David Hasbury’s poem written on top of it.

Inspired by Judith Snow…

What more can life ask of us?
…be present in the form that carries our spirit
…follow the questions that call our name
…embody the visions that enter our mind, finding rest at home in our heart
…uncover the gifts that we carry, placing them within reach of those who need the magic they hold

Fast Forwarding Standing Still…

I am still not going to the gym. I still weigh 151.5 lbs. I am still in the process of going through a divorce. I feel like I am standing still. But life is on fast forward. I am dealing with attorneys and court dates and divvying up our art. It seems somewhat surreal. If surreal means super-real and unreal all at the same time.

Soap Box Of The Day: Oh, and what if your child had a disability and you found out that the disability was caused by something that is completely preventable and that someone knew that potential before your child was injured and they chose not to tell anyone and now it is too late for your child – and about 1% of the children born since 1991 – and now they are working to make sure that those children never get their day in court under the auspices of national security and no one seems to care except a few parents and scientists who know the truth when ultimately thousands of children could be affected and not be given the antidote until it is too late because some very powerful people are embarrassed/afraid that they will be held responsible and so they are rushing to cover their asses and ship the stuff to China under the guises of “humanitarian aide” when it should be called “bioterrorism” because Chinese children shouldn’t be given this stuff any more than American children but we are doing it anyway because we have figured out that people buy into this “better them than me” shit and won’t do anything to stop it? Yeah, it is one hell of a run-on sentence, but when you are fucking angry and sad and disillusioned, who cares about punctuation?

It is just a theory, but China is going to hate us. It isn’t going to be pretty when a fifth of the world’s population finds out that we screwed them. On purpose. Just don’t say you weren’t warned.

Playing With My Food…

Cereal -- Photo by Gina LynetteI really love to eat. The sad thing is that I rarely take the time to eat something that is really yummy, but manage to overeat stuff that barely registers on the food radar. Why is that?

Oh, oh, wait! I know!

In my family, we have this strange value system that says, “If you enjoy it, then it isn’t work, and it doesn’t count.” Suffering is highly prized. I come from a long line of martyrs.

Hold on, there is a point, here.

So, if I eat something that I don’t enjoy, then I am not getting off easy. It doesn’t count against my martyr points. So, if I deny myself the Penne Gorgonzola and eat a bowl of cereal, even though the calorie counts might be similar, I am “working” by suffering through the cereal. Working = value. Cereal = increased value. Penne = pleasure = lower value. So, as long as I don’t enjoy the food it doesn’t count against me – even if it is not healthy or nutritious.

Ick! I don’t want to do the martyr bit.

I knew looking at the food was going to be a hard part of this whole challenge.

Soap Box of the Day: I am too tired to rant right now. I am so tired that I think I will simply curl up on the soap box and take a nap. Wake me when all is right with the world. Well, okay, then wake me up when the laundry is all put away.

Lost a Week to Reading…

Ladder of Years by Anne TylerOkay, so maybe I should just plan on blogging once a week and stop feigning shock when a week goes by without an update. I have been wandering around with my nose in books all week. Among my completed works this week are Anne Tyler’s Ladder of Years and the latest Harry Potter. Loved Ladder, but no one needs to worry that I am going to pull a Delia Grinstead and run away for 16 months. Potter left me feeling depressed. That may be because I read it in less than 24 hours and need sleep, though. I won’t say anything more and ruin it for y’all.

On the fitness front: I managed to make it to workout 25/200 today. Weight is bouncing between 176 and 178 which leads me to speculate a little on my goal weight. Officially it is 149. That puts me in the middle of the healthy BMI range for my height (5′ 9″ish). I am planning to fine tune it as I get closer, and am not particularly attached to this number. However, I can’t help but wonder whether my goal weight is my “upper limit” goal (the highest number I see regardless of TOM or day or amount of clothing, etc) or just a number I would be happy to see from time to time as my weight bounces around the general area. I don’t have an answer. Just something I am thinking about.

Soap Box of the Day: One of my areas of interest is personality. Various tests of personality have been developed, such as the Myers-Briggs type sorter. (I am an ENFP, in case you were wondering.) I recently came across Dr Dana Spears’ work. She has a type sorter of her own which looks at cognitive styles and has an interesting set of theories. I have a whole rant about how misunderstood I am all ready to type out – but I will spare you. Instead, spend the time filling out the Dreamer Checklist and let me know what you discover. It’s okay. I’ll wait.

I am a dreamer, by the way. But you knew that.

The Longest Weeks Go By Fastest…

I wasn’t very focused on fitness this week, and with good reason. I had two visits from out-of-town guests, a holiday (when the gym was closed), oh, and my sister birthed a gorgeous, 10-pound baby girl (more on that later).

In spite of my not-so-fit week, and the arrival of Monthly Salt and Chocolate Fest, I managed to hit the 178 lb mark. 10 pounds gone. I gave them all to the baby. :) Hey! If I can lose weight as fast as she gains it, we may be on to something. I said it first, so no fair making an infomercial and getting rich off of my idea. I also finished workout 20/200 and am 10% of the way to meeting the challenge! Clearly, I am going to have to get to the gym more than once a week in order to meet my goals. So, no more guests or babies or other surprises are allowed.

Think it will work?

Didn’t think so.

That’s probably the hard part, right? You know – keeping on course when real life keeps happening? That’s the whole point of the MegaChallenge. I have a vision – a North Star – to guide me through all of the little diversions that threaten to get me off course. It helps me that it is a concrete goal that *I* have control over. I can’t really control much, but I can be physically active 200 times in a year.

Soap Box of the Day: My niece appeared after an emergency C-section weighing in at 10 lbs 3 oz. And so it starts. This precious child is already being told how “absolutely huge” she is. She is relatively large for a newborn child but is that really all we know about her? It is the first thing people ask (after the sex) and maybe that is because you can’t ask what her favorite song is or whether she prefers mayo or Miracle Whip. But it still irritates me.

So, for the record, this child will be spoiled absolutely rotten. It is pay-backs for the truckloads of toys that my sister has delivered to my children over the years. She is very good at letting everyone know just how unhappy she may be at any perceived injustice (especially those of the waking-her-up kind). She is named for a river in Scotland because my sister and her husband like Scotland and choose to think of themselves as Scottish (Scotch??), though both come from families which have spent at least 8 generations in the US. I’ll let you know when she shares her condiment preferences.

The First Comment…

Okay, so it is probably somewhat pathetic to blog on the fact that someone I don’t know and that I didn’t pay cash money has commented (positively) on the MegaChallenge. But, just as every little milestone on the fitness journey bolsters my efforts, having someone comment is definitely a note-worthy blogger milestone. So, thanks, Dee, for christening ye ole comments section.

In other news, the scale has been very kind this week. My official start weight was 188 lbs and I am aiming for 149 lbs (the magical weight I discovered just before getting pregnant with the Diva Princess). I actually saw a 178.5 on the digital device this morning! So, numbers of note are: 9.5 lbs gone, 29.5 to go. That is just shy of 25% of my unwanted pounds gone in one month of MegaChallenge work. I finished workout number 18/200 yesterday – 40 minutes of elliptical running to nowhere, and a trip around the leg machines.

While we are noting milestones, I gotta tell y’all about my favorite one, so far. Get ready. It’s a whopper. I can get my rings on and off without soap and a team of mules! I know. It isn’t like I just ran a marathon, or anything that my local newspaper would want to pick up. Humor me.

Soap Box of the Day: The gym is closed today. Now, don’t get me wrong; folks at the gym deserve to be with their families on the holiday (it’s Independence Day in the States) but couldn’t they just shorten the hours a wee bit? Surely they could find someone to hang out for 4 hours in the middle of the day so that those of us who risk gaining 10 pounds eating hot dogs and potato salad have some hope of mitigating the damage.

Petty whining, I know. I promise to find an honorable soap box for tomorrow.

Back In The Swing…

“How are you already out and back if you just got started??”

Weeeellllll, the MegaChallenge officially started on June 6. So, we are 4 weeks in. (If you decide to participate, just start counting your year now – we aren’t picky!) That’s plenty of time to get out of the habit of daily gym ratting at least once. And I did. I went nearly a whole week without a meeting with my elliptical trainer. It was sort of on purpose – my family was out of town for 4 days and I used that time to relocate my floors. 15 bags of garbage went to the dump in my anti-clutter marathon. Needless to say, with all of the scrubbing and tossing and organizing going on, I barely took time to sleep – much less headed out to the gym.

So, when they got back, I had to rediscover my motivation to move. The biggest one? The realization that I was going to be seriously behind in my run for 200 if I didn’t get at least 3 workouts in this week. That, and I have already managed to drop 7 pounds – none of which need to be picked up, again. Having slightly over 30 pounds to lose seems so much more doable than nearly 40.

BTW in case you are wondering, yes I do obsess over numbers. I like math! It is so, well, orderly. And since I am not, by a longshot, orderly; math is friendly respite in an unpredictable world.

If I reread that paragraph (and I did) I hear my friend, Christine, yelling at me to edit and clarify. But, Christine, much as I love you (and your strong sense of grammar and style), this is my Blog and I am not turning it in for a grade, so it can be dangly and run-on and full of fictionaryisms. :)

Soap Box of the Day: It has come to my attention that calling people names is hurtful. Well, admittedly, it came to my attention about 30 years ago. But, that is beside the point. My awareness was further amplified when I encountered Kathie Snow at a workshop. She pointed out just how ridiculous (and hurtful) it is to refer to folks by their particular disability label(s). Do we call folks with cancer, “cancerous”?? Um. Not the last time I checked. So, let’s not call folks who have a disability, “disabled.”

Okay, so you don’t want to be running all over hurting people and want to know how to do better. What do you say? 2 simple rules: 1) Only refer to a diagnosis or a disability if it is relevant and critical that you do so. 2) Refer to the person first. ie: child with autism, man with a disability, person with Down’s Syndrome. See Kathie’s site for a fairly comprehensive rundown of the variations, and a fantastic explanation of the whys and hows.

See, now don’t you feel well informed??

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