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The Art of Saying Yes!

November 20, 2009 By Leave a Comment

After typing the title of this entry, the Jim Carey movie where he has to say yes to everything comes to mind. If you saw it, you will recall that he was quite the practiced curmudgeon and made himself — and everyone around him — pretty miserable. After he changes modes cool things start happening. He gets the girl, starts doing things he loves, and has a pretty wild ride… until it all goes horribly wrong.

I think that potential — the part where the wheels come off — is the reason so many of us are so practiced at turning down wonderful opportunities. We are intrigued, but then we start our litany of what-ifs and what-would-they-thinks and it’s-too-good-to-be-trues.

We’ve learned — often the hard way — that it’s a better bet to stick with the plan. Even if it makes us miserable.

You may have heard the term “calculated risk” bandied about. Finance people love it. Well, I am proposing a different approach. How about a calculated leap? A delicious risk?

The best thing about saying yes is that you get what you want on the other side of it! Expanding our options, offering gratitude, and leaping for those proverbial rings all allow new life into our days.

As the saying goes, “If you aim for the moon and miss, you are still among the stars.”

So, next time someone offers you a chance of a lifetime, jump…

for joy!

Filed Under: Blissification, Pointing Forward Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Silence Doesn’t Indicate Inertia…

April 2, 2009 By Leave a Comment
Cheese Plate

Everything in Balance

I love this blog. I know it is hard to tell that from the long absences–okay, complete neglect–over the past couple of years, but I do!

When I started the MegaChallenge, I was some 39 (50) pounds overweight, living in a marriage that threatened my life, working on my degree, homeschooling my kids, and in need of a place where I could “talk” without being edited. It was an act of courage–actually several, since it took multiple tries to get logged on to blog spot–that started this blog. When I wrote that very first entry I honestly had no idea whether anyone would read it.

Then something amazing happened. People did read it, but that wasn’t the real magic. The real magic was finding other people who were in the same boat. No, not identical boats–just similar ones. There were these other bloggers who were also losing weight, but the pounds weren’t actually the point. Life was the point. They were exploring that question that seems to manifest itself from some common place in us all–“Why are we here?”

Of course, the answers varied widely. They had to. How could Allan–an admitted foodie and a food broker from NYC–maintain his sanity as he made his attempt to lose weight while handling the most decadent of foods all day every day? How could Renee drop the pounds while carrying around her self-doubts? How would Trish bounce back from a post-tummy-tuck weight gain while she juggled her responsibilities and the ones she took on for her family? How would Shawna hold up under media scrutiny when her weight-loss blog and book made her famous?

Sure, we were all talking about weight and diet and exercise and scales, but they weren’t the only common themes. Other A-Has emerged as we blogged.

Balance — Maintenance — Relationships — Goals –Celebration 

Those are the topics of larger conversations. Yeah, I lost weight and worked out and wrote about it on this blog. But I also transformed my life, found balance, improved my relationships, set brand new goals, and celebrated successes of all sorts! 

I thought about deleting the MegaChallenge when I co-created Blissification with my long-time, off-line friend, Christine. Blissification is all about what I am up to now: helping folks find their bliss. But I paused on the delete link. Maybe the MegaChallenge still has its purpose. If I am telling someone that they can be happy and all they see is the current Gina–the one who lives on 6 acres in a gorgeous part of the world, with a wonderfully supportive husband, a job she loves, and kids all around, and who is regularly called, “PollyAnna”–will they believe I have any idea what they are going through?

So, the MegaChallenge stays so that if at some point someone wants to know how I got from where I was to where I am, I can point them here.

And, who knows? At some point this 10 extra pounds that I have been carrying around for the past year might become something I want to eliminate. When I get past the precontemplation stage, this is exactly where I want to record that journey.

Filed Under: MegaChallenge 200, Pointing Forward Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Whoa! Two Days in a Row…

August 8, 2008 By Leave a Comment

RootsBlogging that is.

Don’t panic. I didn’t like go all wild and work out or anything.

I haven’t completely neglected my fitness quest, though. Ye ole fitday account is re-up and running. So, check one item off of the “To Procrastinate” list.

One of my excuses is that I took my kids to meet their new teachers*. I am already in love with both classroom teachers and the support staff promises to be equally amazing. B’s teacher has a sign that says, “A quiet classroom is not an indication of learning.” I’ll buy that!

I always loved going back to school. New pencils and notebooks have always been my thing! And it was always nice to have a fresh start.

I am kinda looking at this re-focus on the MegaChallenge in the same way.

Oh–and in case you are wondering about the weight gain thang, here’s the deal. And I swear on an elliptical trainer that it is the absolute truth.

My scale was off. Seriously. I was in “maintenance” so I would pop onto the scale like once a week or so. If it was under 149, I was cool. Sometime after my sweet boy moved in, the scale developed a crack–so Marchish?–and my theory is that it stopped telling me the truth.

I was traveling all over the place, working about a million hours a week (give or take), under a truckload of stress, and eating out 2 meals a day. So, I knew I was at risk for some gainage, but I didn’t really have time to think about it much. After a while I broke down and bought another scale–and that is when I discovered the deception. If it had been a couple of pounds different, I would have chalked it up to calibration or something. But 10 pounds was a rude awakening. Gah!

So, my little scale-enhanced denial party is over. I am heavier than I want to be. Not a huge amount, but more than I would drop without some focused effort.

The good news is that I know I can get back on track and that I didn’t let it get way out of hand.

Now, to get the shoes laced up and downstairs to the bike.

Soon.

*Can you believe that school is starting already?? Wasn’t there supposed to be some correlation between back-to-school and fall? Thought so!

Filed Under: Happy and Included, MegaChallenge 200, Pointing Forward Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

And Just Like That an Entire Year Passes…

August 7, 2008 By 1 Comment

Breaking Ground Arts Issue -- Cover by Gina LynetteNo, I didn’t fall completely off of the planet.

I took a job that involved working for an organization that required that I curtail a significant portion of my advocacy/openness/personality. I learned a whole boatload of new skills, made a couple of terrific friends, and discovered that I am much happier when I can openly share what I think and who I am.

So, to catch you up on a whole year’s worth of events, we’ll do the bullet list trick.

  • I nearly died on August 6, 2007. Yep, on B’s 9th birthday. Bad timing. Emergency surgery on August 7, 2007 saved me. My best friend nursed me back to health for weeks. I’m all better now.
  • I discovered a job opening, interviewed, and was hired between August 16 and September 17, 2007. It was exactly what I hoped for and not what I expected at all. Funny that.
  • I moved everything we own a couple of hundred miles over the course of September and October 2007. (See job.) We now live on 6+ acres in a gorgeous part of the world.
  • My photo was chosen for the cover of the Breaking Ground Arts issue in September 2007.
  • My kids went back to public school in October 2007. (See job. See move.) I relearned all I wanted to forget about Special Education–but discovered that some districts actually want to make it work for everyone.
  • I gained a “significant other” in March–or so. He was significant before. Now he lives here. I suppose that makes him super-significant, right?
  • Our–his and my together–co-created artwork was exhibited for 2 months in a “solo” (except that we are 2 people) show at our city hall from April – June 2008. It was a surreal experience walking in and seeing 25 pieces of our soul lining the walls of a public building.
  • I attended my 6th MegaConference in June 2008.
  • My son turned 10 on August 6, 2008. Yes! A decade!
  • I gained about 10ish pounds over the course of the year. Stress eating (See job. See move. See kids in school. See incredible cook aka significant other moving in.) does that to me. It’s time to get that gone.

So, sports fans, it is time to get back on the MegaChallenge Bandwagon. I still like the 200 workouts in a year deal. I still like basing it on the MegaConference schedule. That means I would have to kick some major pre-contemplation into gear and get a move on.

We installed a workout room in our basement–so I literally have no excuses for not working out. Well, not any that hold water.

I am also thinking that keeping track of the stuff I eat via fitday would be a good idea.

I am doing a whole lot of thinking.

Time for some doing!

Filed Under: Blissification, Happy and Included, MegaChallenge 200, Mumble Cussing, Pointing Forward Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Getting Older Rocks…

August 4, 2007 By 2 Comments

Remember when you were a little kid and you were so excited to get older that you corrected people who said you were five when you were really five and a half??

When did you stop counting the half years? When did it stop being cool to get older?

My son is turning 9 on Monday and is all about his new age. He likes it so much that he has been trying it out for weeks. “Yeah, I am almost 9.” “When I am 9 I am going to have my own computer.” “9 year olds don’t have to go to bed at the same time as their sisters, right Mom?” No hanging on to the last vestiges of being 8 for him.

Yet, I have so many friends who do that 29/39/49 and holding thing that I have to wonder what it is about aging that makes us want to go into such denial that we will actually pick a year and stick with it.

I get the mortality thing–that for many getting older represents that slow march toward death. I suppose if you are paying attention to the news, the constant images of age-related disease and disability could be a little disconcerting. If you look at it that way, it makes perfect sense that you would want to convince yourself that it ain’t gonna happen to you because you have no intention of moving from this spot thankyouverymuch!

Maybe it is because I love who I am at 36 and wouldn’t choose to relive any of my past. Maybe it is because I hang out with people who are older than I am and they seem to be having so much fun. Maybe it is because I have been called a baby by someone at every age I have ever been* and am looking forward to the age when that stops. Maybe I am the one in denial and don’t choose to see the correlation between birthdays and illness.

Regardless, I love getting older. I love adding days to my calendar and reams to my memories.

Ultimately, I think it has more to do with being okay with who I am right this moment while also looking forward to the next iteration of Gina. It is like a birthday every moment with the gift being the discovery of what growth and delight and deepening and love and joy I get to play with now.

So, here’s to birthdays and half birthdays and 127/365ths birthdays. Make a wish and blow out your candles. It’s your birthday and getting older rocks!

*You know how it goes: “Oh, you are (fill in age here)?? You are still a baby!!” What is it about that dismissive statement that makes me want to do violence??

Filed Under: Blissification, Pointing Forward Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Stuck Under a Pile of Laundry…

May 24, 2007 By Leave a Comment

Send help!

I know everyone has to deal with laundry. Well, I suppose there are folks who toss aside their just-doffed clothing with the expectation that the Laundry Fairy (be it mom, wife, butler, or actual magical nymph) will remove it, clean it, dry it, fold it, and return it to the drawer where it belongs. Ignoring those folks (two of whom live in this house) the rest of us have this issue on an on going basis.

Gina, are you seriously going to do a blog post on laundry?

Why not??

Well, you have only posted like 4 times in the past 4 months. Couldn’t you update us on something a little more–well, exciting??

All right! Okay! Enough about the 8 loads (count ’em!) I did today. We’ll talk about something else. I was on a roll, though. Laundry happens to be a big deal around here.

Oh! The magazine with my rant about that Combating Autism Act came out. Of course, they deleted all of my exclamation points and question marks and sighs and acks and it reads like a research paper–but it is in print. (Why do editors do that??? They get all excited about a piece and beg you to let them publish it and then strip it of everything that made it yours to begin with…) You can see it here. Scroll down to pages 12-13.

We are also on the cover–along with several pics I took during our last lobbying trip to DC. They put more of my shots inside around a piece written by another family that went on the same trip. It seems I am a photo-journalist, too! Whoda thunk?

And as long as I am “outing” myself by giving you a link to the magazine–which contains pics of me and my child along with my real name–I might as well add a picture to my profile and include a link to my other* website. Sure, some might see it as shameless self-promotion. They obviously don’t know me very well.

So, there you have it. I have morphed into a laundry-doing, homeschooling, photo-journalist, author, webmistress, blogging, life coach.

Heavy on the laundry.

*Y’all have had a link to untangleautism.org on the sidebar for over a year. If you google “autism” and “iep” my little site will come up first–and I have done nothing to promote it evah… kah-cha!! Just goes to show what having a site sit there for 6 years can do. LOL

Filed Under: Blissification, Happy and Included, Mumble Cussing, Pointing Forward Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Words Never Fail Me…

April 13, 2007 By Leave a Comment

Finding Your Own North Star by Martha BeckMy boyfriend (yes, it is official and exclusive and terrifying and very, very good) bandies about his credentials as a writer–and rightfully so–to the point where I sort of forgot that I, too, have been known to put together some sweet syllables on occasion.

I have suddenly rediscovered my penchant for prose as I have tossed off the yoke of higher education*. (Yeah, I said I put together sweet syllables on occasion. At other times, I put together clashing cliches and hide behind my anonymity.) Without volumes of Kirkpatrick to dig through (love him, but his name comes up every 3rd sentence at Joe’s Pretty Good Grad School) I have time for all sorts of writing and–gasp–pleasure reading!

There are 40 books on my nightstand. These are my “get to them soon” books. My book purchasing is an illness that I will never even attempt to overcome. I see a book that looks interesting, I buy it. I read the first 75 pages and then get distracted by another pretty cover. It goes on my nightstand. Eventually I am penniless and want something to read, so I go back to one of the toss offs and re-discover why I bought it. Eventually I finish them all. (Well, except for Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell which was officially thrown across the room at page 640 and left to be walked on for a week until I finally worked up the strength to pick up the 40 pound doorstop and put it on a shelf. Ms Clarke, get thee an editor!)

Anyway. The pile of books seems to grow faster than my children. Which has led me to discover one advantage to being the only adult in the house; no one else can tell you that you have too many of something! It also means that no one moves your stuff–and if they do they are smaller than you and you can bribe them with candy and stickers to get it back.

Keeping in mind those two things (the getting to keep what you want and it staying where you put it) imagine just how juicy it is to re-discover an entire collection of books that you are absolutely dying to read just sitting there beside your bed and actually having the time to read them!

Are you salivating?

Oh! The titles I am cracking (or re-cracking) this month! Everything from The Fabulous Friendship Festival to The Female Brain to The Field to Finding Your Own North Star. Wait. Those are all in the Fs. Just so no one gets the mistaken belief that my nightstand is organized alphabetically… to The Namesake to Why Moms are Weird (Hi, Pamie!!) to Sex, Time, and Power.

I have had a book-a-day habit since 2nd grade (Hi, Mrs. Williams!!) and just feel so blessed to have continued access to this alternate reality. I am working diligently to pass my addiction on to my kids. I suckered them in with picture books before they could hold their heads up. Then we moved on to reading chapter books out loud on car trips and while they played in the floor with their toys. Once I got them hooked, I taught them the code and now they are reading on their own.

If there is anything any sweeter than kissing my children good night, it is hearing my 8-year-old son say as I tuck him in with a biography(!!), “There’s nothin‘ like a good book.”

* Grad school is going on the back burner for the moment. The issues I mentioned last fall have never been resolved and have escalated and the school is in a huge upheaval that won’t be settled in my lifetime and I am over beating my head against that brick wall. Perhaps another program at another school will be a better fit. Perhaps I should just get off of my ass and get a job. Hey! I might just do it!!

Filed Under: Blissification, Gina's Reading, Pointing Forward Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Well, if it shows up in O…

February 7, 2007 By 1 Comment

Oprah Magazine 2007You know you’ve made it when you show up in O. You know, that little magazine put out by that lady who seems to have endless ability to influence the world around her?

Well, before you get all excited and send me a comment saying, “But, Gina, I didn’t see you in O!!” Lemme point out that, no, I am not exactly in O. Weight loss blogging is in O. And, since I have a weight loss blog (shush, it is, too!! or was… whatever!) I am, by association in O. So there.

Anyway, now that we are all agreed that I am famous and “in” let’s move on to the point. Yes, I have a point.

Reistad-Long (the author of the article in O) comes to the conclusion that blogging helps us lose weight (well, duh!) but her explanation as to why totally fit into my whole, “Dream it, Plan it, Say it, Do it” philosophy.” She says, “Anyone who has achieved a significant behavior change knows that success is an ongoing process of staying aware and making the right choices.”

Change is an act of intention. You want to make the change. You believe the change is possible. You tell others that you are going to make that change. And wha la! You change*! It is a deliberate act of will.

I am living proof. Go back and read my entries. I double dog dare you to. Three major life changes started here… I shaped my overweight form into my (as of this morning) 143 lb comfort zone, I eliminated my wasband from my immediate surroundings, and I discovered my “balance is everything” mantra. And you know what? When I declared that I would lose weight to the whole world and I wrote about it and kept that promise to myself–deliberately–I did it. And when I came to the conclusion that a divorce was the change I needed, same thing. And when I read myself saying, “balance” every other sentence, I recognized that it was a key to my bliss.

Recognizing, as I do, the power of declaration, I want to set other goals and share them here. I know the power of this forum.

But… you knew there was a but…

I have hesitated to transform this blog into a rest-of-my-life blog for several reasons. The main one is that I am somewhat concerned that my still-unstable wasband will find fuel for his indignation here. I don’t want to hurt him. He has lots of work to do to find his balance. I tried to help him, but it was beyond my ability (and beyond my responsibility!!) I still hope he will land in his bliss (though so far he has landed just about everywhere else), but I have to make sure I don’t give him the power to derail mine.

So, I am trying to figure out how to share what is going on and what I am going to work on and still feel “safe.”

Okay. I have said for years that living in fear is not living. My first act of deliberate intent is to declare that my blog is a safe place. I expect the people who visit here to be supportive and caring–just as they always have been. If you are the boogey man, move along. I am sure there is a blog out there for you. This one is for folks who believe, like Richard Feynman, “The key to success is to make people dream.”

Here’s to living that dream!

*For those of you who are screeching, “Buuuuut Gina, it isn’t that eeeeeeasy!!!” I will say again, it is a deliberate act of will. If you have mixed feelings, your results will be mixed. If you are only doing it because your mom, boyfriend, therapist, horoscope, or Oprah says you should, it ain’t gonna go very well. You know this. I know this. The universe knows this. Now put down the sleeve of Oreos and get focused on what you want. (And if what you want is the sleeve of Oreos, you will pick them right back up. No judgment… I’ve done it, too. They are soooo good. especially with really cold milk…)

Filed Under: MegaChallenge 200, Pointing Forward Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

15 minutes of effort…

January 3, 2007 By Leave a Comment

I am back at my seemingly perpetual task of de-cluttering my world. We are super-blessed around here with generous gift givers and the holidays left us with about thirty million new things to store. Of course, those items all came wrapped in something and were under a tall green something covered in all sorts of sparkly somethings. Now that it is officially “after the holidays” all of those somethings were making me bat wacky and had to get out of here.

But I just couldn’t do it.

I am tired. Yes, I will admit it. There are days when I just don’t wanna be the grown up! But no one else is volunteering, so up and at ’em!

I don’t know where I originally got the idea to do 15 minutes of clutter attack. Perhaps at flylady.net (she can have credit if she likes) or in some book or out of sheer genius. Anyway, it isn’t my favorite way to spend a day, but sometimes it is the only way to get moving. How does it work?

Weeeeelllllllll…

When we do it, we pick 3 tasks that seem overwhelming (today: taking down decorations, putting away new stuff, and cleaning the kitchen won) and rotate those with a fourth something that we actually enjoy (a day-long game of Monopoly* won). We set the timer for 15 minutes and jump on task one. When the timer screams, we switch to the next task for the next 15 minutes. This continues ’round and ’round until we finish. Sometimes it takes an hour, others it takes 4.

Anyway, we did manage to get all three tasks done. My daughter kicked our butts at Monopoly. (Seems at a couple of weeks shy of 6 that she relies on the strategy of “buy it all and watch them die a slow death paying me rent.”) I feel much better because I don’t have visions of Christmas in April dancing in my head.

*My son got the new Monopoly Here & Now game as one of his gifts. We are fairly Monopoly obsessed around here and have several versions (including electronic ones) but this one is the strangest one evah! Things we like: cool tokens (cell phone, hybrid car, airplane, etc) and properties from all over the country. Things we hate: the money and the money!! It is 10,000 times as complicated to use because the whole shebang has been inflated by–you guessed it–a factor of 10,000. Worse than that? Three denominations are some variant of yellow–including the $100,000 and $1,000,000 bills–and are very easily mixed up. We did have a very interesting lesson on place value, though. My recommendation? Stick with your classic version and order “replacement” tokens from H@sbro. (If you feel that is somehow unethical, then go buy the game and get all giddy when you discover your own tiny St@rbuck’s mug token!)

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The Year of Magical Thinking…

October 15, 2006 By Leave a Comment

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan DidionWith apologies to Joan Didion* for stealing her title, I am doing that thing. You know the thing I mean? Where you do the “year ago today” thing and look back and think about what you were doing a year ago and sort of relive last year while living this year and feel like you are in two places at once.

It screws with my head.

Magical thinking.

See, magical thinking is based in patterns. We think we see patterns where there aren’t patterns or create patterns where we want them to be. So, if I really want to believe something, I will start looking for proof and–as if by magic–I find it!

It might be my thinking if I wait to have children until my mother did (at least 24 years old) then it isn’t an “accident” and my children will be welcome and approved.

It might be my thinking that if I have always fallen in love in the fall and it is now fall that–wha la!–I should be running into Mr Right (Now) at any moment.

It might even be that if I could turn back the clock to those moments before the events that sent me reeling toward right now occurred that I could, somehow, avert them.

It doesn’t matter that my mom was divorced within 4 years of giving birth. (I didn’t follow the logic past the “approval” to see if the pattern held, I would be a single mom shortly.)

It doesn’t matter that the reason I have always fallen in love in the fall is because that is when you go back to school and hook up with a new guy. (Yeah, I am back in school–but all of the guys are either married or gay which makes them somewhat unsuitable for my love interest.)

It doesn’t even matter that I can’t turn the clock back and even if I could that I couldn’t change anything except–perhaps–the day it all finally blew apart. (The wasband’s temper was hardly within my control.)

I am still doing it. Magical thinking. Looking for the pattern. Trying to find control when, frankly, I have none.

There is a time for looking back. It helps to understand what got you where you are. But at some point, you have to point forward. I am working toward the balance between reflection and action.

Driving home tonight I was absolutely terrified for about 20 seconds. Why? I realized that I was on the road with my little kids and no one expected me at the other end. I could vanish from the earth and it would be at least 12 hours before anyone noticed. I felt completely disconnected. It was an acute attack of the larger unease I have been feeling the last few days. Generally, I am a pretty upbeat, expecting-the-best kinda girl. The last few days have found me worried about everything–money, health, death, school, friends, love, car, and so on–and unable to accomplish much of anything.

I think it is the Magical Thinking pushing me in this direction. As scary things happen to the people around me, I can’t help but wonder if I am on a bad-luck stretch of the highway. I am looking for the clues that my turn to get sideswiped is comin’. Enough already.

I need a good night’s sleep. I need to make a list of the stuff that I need to accomplish. I need to pat myself on the back for successfully navigating one of the hardest years of my life–while managing to graduate from school, homeschool two children, and stay at goal weight.

I can do this–whatever this might be. And I don’t have to resort to magic.

*OMG if you haven’t read this book, go now and find it! It seems trite to use words like “breathtaking” and “perfect” but The Year of Magical Thinking is both. I read it in two sittings and am going back to read it again. It is one of those books that sets you to making lists of people who need copies. I feel like I should write Joan Didion a thank you note for opening up her soul. But that seems even more trite than saying her book is “perfect.”

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